Finding Forever Read online

  I am currently working on a new novel, the title of which is “Save Her Soul”. This novel is a paranormal romance and I’m enjoying getting to know the characters. My main character, Kate, is stubborn and very feisty and I’m sure you’ll love her as much as I do. I’ve included a sneak peak of Chapter 1 at the end of this book if you want to read it. I am hoping to have it finished by March 2017 with publication in the summer of 2017.

  Also, included at the end of this book is “Mistletoe Magic” a short romantic Christmas story I wrote at the end of 2016.

  If you’d like to keep up to date with what I’m working on, you can find more information on my website: http://www.amandajevans.com/

  Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/amandajevanswriter

  Twitter: @amandajevans

  Instagram: ajevanswriter

  Thank you so much for taking the time to read Finding Forever. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and if you have the time, I would really appreciate it if you could leave a review.

  SAVE HER SOUL

  Chapter 1

  It all began with the flicker of a lighter, a cigarette reaching down into the flames. I don’t know why I was mesmerized by this. I should have run; I should have hidden in the shadows but something about this man dressed in black had me intrigued. No one ever came out here. This was my place, my sanctuary and finding someone else here had never happened before. What did he want? How did he find this place? I thought I was the only one who came here. No, I knew I was the only one who came here. Nearly a year had passed and not one other soul had visited this grave site.

  The flame died and he placed the lighter in his pocket. The cigarette moved to his lips and he sucked in a deep breath before exhaling. The smoke danced from his mouth forming perfect circles. Who was he? I thought about clearing my throat, asking him what he was doing in my place, but something told me not to. Instead I stood, silent, frozen to the spot, my eyes the only thing that moved. I watched him finish his cigarette then flick it to the ground. His black leather boots crushed it in a twisting motion. He never once looked in my direction. He just nodded to the darkness and left. I stood for what felt like minutes before moving to the spot he had vacated. I looked behind to where I had been standing. I would have been clearly visible to him. Why didn’t he see me, acknowledge my existence? Perhaps he had. I followed his trail, down past the old train yard, out through the broken fence but there was nothing, no sign of anyone. Shrugging my shoulders, I turned and made my way home.

  If he comes to my place again, I’ll be having words. No one is taking it from me. It’s mine and I will fight for it. I will fight for the only bit of peace I have left in this world. I need it. I need to be there, to feel her, to remember who she was and how I failed her. My sanctuary is my punishment and I will live with it until I get revenge and retribution for her life. I promised her and I keep my promises. Always.

  I pushed open the door to my apartment. I call it an apartment but it’s only two rooms with everything I need squashed in. It’s all I can afford right now, but it won’t be for long. As soon as I get my revenge I’ll leave. I’ll be ready then.

  Sighing, I placed my coat across the back of the sofa. It wasn’t much and the cushions were worn, but it was comfortable and that’s all the mattered. It sat in the middle of the floor, a small wooden coffee table to the side, and a stove in front of it. I didn’t use the stove often; I was used to the cold. In the corner of the room was the door to my bedroom. I’d say I slept there but I’d be lying. I didn’t sleep much these days. I tossed and turned fighting against the nightmares and memories that consumed me. A small kitchen area to the left completed my little home. I flicked the switch on the kettle. I needed tea and time to think. The man in black had me spooked. Who was he? Did he work for Merlin? Was he spying on me? I replayed the events over and over as the kettle boiled. He didn’t seem to notice me. He didn’t look in my direction and I’d never seen him before. Maybe he was just there having a cigarette. Maybe he was lost. All the questions weren’t doing me any good. I had no answers anyway. I made my tea and sat on the sofa. The warm liquid instantly calmed me as I sat back to contemplate my next move. I looked at the pile of papers spread out over the coffee table. I’d been tracking Merlin’s movements, following members of his gang. I needed to find a way to get to him and get him alone so I could enact my revenge. He was going to suffer. He was going to feel the pain that he’d inflicted on Sarah. The thought of her brought tears to my eyes. Her bruised and bloodied body, destroyed when I found her. She’d pleaded for me to forgive her, said she couldn’t stop them, before she closed her eyes for the last time.

  I shook my head.

  Stop it, you’re just tormenting yourself. You need to focus.

  I placed my tea on the table and reached for my notebook. I needed to jot down all the details of this mysterious man in black. If he was involved in all of this I had the upper hand. He didn’t see me. I wrote down every detail I could remember. The circles of smoke he blew out, the biker style leather boots that he used to crush the cigarette. It was dark. The glow from the cigarette as he pulled on it had revealed a straight nose and hair that hung in his face but that was all. I knew I wouldn’t recognize him if I saw him in daylight. If he was working for Merlin, I’d never know. I threw my notebook down.

  “This is bloody useless. I’m getting nowhere. Whoever this guy is, if I see him again I’m gonna say something. I’m not a coward anymore.”

  I finished my tea and decided to call it a night. There was nothing more I could do and my head was throbbing as it was.

  I tossed and turned all night. Memories of Sarah, her smile, her laughter, and of course the way I found her battered and bruised. My nightmares always ended the same way, Sarah’s eyes pleading with me and begging me to help her. The sweat dripped down my face as I bolted upright in my bed. I grabbed the glass of water from my nightstand and guzzled it down. My throat was raw another sign that I had been crying and screaming in my sleep again. As the last remnants of my nightmare faded I looked at the picture of Sarah and me that sat beside my bed. We both looked so happy. The photo was taken two summers ago before all this mess happened, before Merlin, before Tommy, and before my life fell apart.

  “I promise,” I said as I kissed my palm and placed it over her smiling face.

  My alarm announced that it was time to get up. I don’t know why I even bothered to set it anymore. I was always awake. I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. Work kept my mind busy and it was exactly what I needed. I worked in Kelly’s Diner, two blocks away. It was only a waitressing job but the hours suited. The early morning shift was always busy and my lack of sleep meant I was always on time. Working from 5am to 1pm gave me the rest of the day to trace leads and my evenings were free to follow Merlin’s scumbags to see what they were up to. The file I compiled was extensive. I could go to the police, but what was the point. The evidence I wanted, needed, to prove Sarah was murdered by Merlin was still out of reach. Until I had that, I was in limbo. I watched from the shadows, taking note of everything. I’d tried to be the hero. I confronted Merlin and his men not long after I’d found Sarah. The rage I’d felt was out of control and I paid dearly for it. It didn’t matter that I was a woman, those men took joy in leaving me in a heap outside the abandoned warehouse on 4th street. I suffered broken ribs, a hairline fracture of my skull, and more bruises than I could count. This is what I got for letting my rage get the better of me. It won’t happen again. Next time I’ll be ready and then we’ll see who is left lying on the ground bleeding.

  It had taken some time to find Luke’s but it was worth it. Luke’s gym allowed me to train and work my body. I could take my rage out on the punch bag. Luke was a master of many arts and he was more than happy to train me. Each day it was something different, boxing, karate, you name it, he’d studied it and he was one hell of a teacher too. He thought me how to use my anger and channel my pain into a force that I could use. One year on and I knew I was nea
rly ready to take down Merlin and fulfil my promise to Sarah. Just a couple more weeks and I’d have everything in place.

  I smiled as I walked through the door of Kelly’s. This would all be over soon. I loved how quiet it was in the diner at this time of the morning. Flicking on the lights and the switch for the coffee machine I made my way into the back kitchen to get things ready for Armand. Armand was the best chef in the county and he was what put Kelly’s on the map. Why he chose to stay here and not get a job in the big city was beyond me. I’d asked him once and his reply was ‘love’. I scoffed. I’d be gone to the city in a heartbeat if I had his talents. He was headhunted all the time but always refused. He said he loved the country air and that he’d feel trapped in the city. I tried arguing that with all the money he’d make he could travel to the country whenever he wanted. He wasn’t convinced and I dropped it. I smiled as I remembered all our little chats this past year. I’d miss him when I was gone. I brushed away the thought and busied myself filling milk jugs and setting out the condiments and menu boards on all the tables. The smell of fresh coffee filled the air as I glanced at the clock and made my way to the front door. Turning the sign to open I stepped back as it swung open and the little bell above jingled. My first customer of the day. I lifted my head ready with a beaming grin only to find Malcolm Merlin’s lackey John Tidsdale standing in front of me. My stomach turned and I had to force down the snarl that wanted to escape my mouth.

  “Morning Kate, you’re looking good,” he smirked.

  I nodded. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. All I could think about was the two weeks I’d spent in the hospital after him and his goons had worked me over. Of course, they got away with it. My word against theirs and they had an alibi.

  “Not talking to me, eh?” he said watching me closely.

  I knew I had to play it cool, pretend to be the scared little woman he expected. I swallowed hard.

  “Take a seat John, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

  That did the trick. He smiled and made his way to a booth.

  Pull yourself together. You’ll blow everything if you lose it now.

  My inner voice was right. I’d come too far to let my plans fall apart because of Tidsdale. I pulled the small notebook from my apron and followed him to his booth.

  “What can I get you?” I asked adding a slight quiver to my voice. He had to think I was afraid even if I did want to smash his face in. I took a deep breath as he smiled at his menu.

  “I’ll have pancakes and coffee. I’m celebrating this morning,” he winked.

  That could only mean trouble I thought as I answered as sweetly as I could.

  “Sure, I’ll bring the coffee straight over. Armand’s just arrived so the pancakes will be a few minutes.”

  I felt his hand on my arm as he stopped me from leaving. God, I wanted so much to turn and knock the cheesy grin off his face.

  “How’ve you been Kate? Haven’t seen you round, since you know,” he raised his eyebrows, baiting me.

  “Busy,” I scowled and turned to leave.

  This time I moved fast or I knew my temper wouldn’t hold. I heard him chuckle as I left.

  Oh, what I wouldn’t do to add a little bit of arsenic to his coffee and kill the fucker right here, right now.

  I shook my head. I couldn’t. My mind replayed our conversation as I made his coffee. Celebrating. What was he celebrating and what were they up to? Things had been quiet over at the warehouse of late. That was not a good sign. Terrible in fact. When the warehouse was quiet it usually meant, Merlin was out of town, but not this time. I’d seen him two nights ago outside Club B. They were up to something.

  With coffee in hand I made my way back to Tidsdale. He was on the phone, but the conversation halted as soon as I arrived. I did manage to catch a few words though.

  “All quiet…yep…gotcha…8.30…right boss.”

  “Your coffee,” I said placing the steaming cup beside him.

  “Thanks, Kate.”

  I turned and was once again halted in my tracks.

  “By the way, you might want to give training a miss tonight. The boss has something in mind for Luke,” he laughed.

  I froze and my head turned at his words. My hands fisted at my sides. I glared at him.

  “You touch him and you’ll be sorry,” I spat.

  “Oh now aren’t you the feisty one? Thought you might have learned your lesson last time. Not to worry, boss said I can have you all to myself if you ever try anything again.” He licked his lips, “I’m hoping you do.”

  My stomach dropped and my hands started shaking. They knew. They fucking knew and he was baiting me. The way he licked his lips and the look he gave me sent shivers down my spine. I stomped off to the kitchen. I needed to calm myself.

  “You alright Kate?” Armand asked seeing my hands shake and the red in my cheeks.

  “Yeah,” I muttered berating myself silently for my slip up. If they knew I was training with Luke, what else did they know? My mind was like a whirlwind. I took a deep breath to focus.

  You’re in work. Calm down. You can sort this later. Don’t give Tidsdale any more than you already have.

  “Those pancakes ready?” I asked Armand.

  “Yes, here you go,”

  I grabbed the plate as Armand placed his hand on my arm.

  “Kate, you know I’m here if you need anything, right?”

  “I know, thanks Armand.” I said swallowing the lump in my throat.

  Armand was one of a kind, so giving. He was my rock and he’d helped me out so much after Sarah, but I couldn’t tell him what I was doing though. I couldn’t put him or his family in danger. This was my fight and I would face Merlin alone. I had been gathering evidence for months now. The police couldn’t help when Sarah died but when I’d finished they’d have all the evidence they needed to put his gang away for a long time. Merlin, he was mine. He wasn’t going to prison. He was going to hell.

  Pushing through the kitchen doors I made my way back to Tidsdale. I placed the pancakes in front of him and turned to leave.

  “Remember what I said Kate, gym’s off limits today so don’t you do anything stupid.”

  I huffed.

  Gym’s off limits, I’d go if I wanted and he wouldn’t stop me.

  “Course you can go if you like. I’d love to see that cute body of yours all sweaty.”

  The tone in his voice made my stomach sick and I marched across the diner, anything to get away from him.

  The rest of my shift went without incident. Tidsdale ate and left, grinning at me as he did. The usual morning rush arrived after him and my shift flew by. Before long it was one, and time for me to find out exactly what was going on. I knew Merlin controlled the Glades but I was sure Luke wasn’t involved in any way. He was training me to fight. He knew Sarah was murdered. My mind replayed conversation after conversation from the past 9 months. I’d never mentioned Merlin or my plan for revenge and neither had he. He’d asked more than once what I planned to do with my life, told me I needed focus, but I never answered. I always shook my head and went back to attacking the punch bag.

  My heart was racing fearing he was involved, that he was in league with Merlin. I tried to push it away, convince myself that I was wrong, but the sinking feeling in my gut told me I wasn’t. I had a decision to make. Did I pretend to be the weak kitten Tidsdale assumed I was and stay away? Or show them the fierce tiger I’d become? They knew I’d been training, but how much did they know? I was rattled that was for sure and the only way I knew to calm myself and think clearly was to talk to Sarah.

  I’d been so distracted I hadn’t even noticed I’d been walking in the direction of her death site, but once there I felt her energy wash over me. I sank to the ground and placed my hand on the blood-stained concrete.

  “Tell me what to do?” I whispered. “I need you Sarah.”

  I let the tears come. This was the only place I cried. The only place I allowed my grief to take over. With
my head buried in my hands I let my sobs out. The pain was still so raw. The images of her tortured body. I still didn’t know why, but I knew one way or the other I wasn’t leaving this world without getting answers.

  I sat there in silence remembering everything. The fight Sarah and I had. How she said she hated me. I was only looking out for her. She was all I had, my baby sister, and I was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to keep her safe. I failed. I hadn’t been there. We fought that night. I pleaded with her not to go out, not to see Tommy but she wouldn’t listen. She told me I didn’t control her life and she was right, but she didn’t know what I did. Tommy wasn’t the guy she thought he was. He was in way over his head with Merlin and he was dragging her down too. No matter what I said she didn’t listen. She was blinded by her infatuation with him. She said they were in love, that there were getting out of town, moving north where they could be together. They had it all planned and I could still see the excitement in her eyes as she replayed the perfect life she was going to have.

  “Come with us,” she’d said. “You can stay with us, move college. You’re welcome to stay with us as long as you like, sis.”

  I don’t know why I didn’t listen and pack my bags. We could have left; we could’ve gone that night and she’d still be alive. It was all my fault.